is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
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