you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
