Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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