loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Panties = found
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
