I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
