you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
