I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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