This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
i think i just lost a toe
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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