dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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