Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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