Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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