All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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