This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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