Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
