i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
We had sex on a dog bed..
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
