On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Randomize
