Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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