My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Randomize
