Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Randomize
