If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
You pole danced in your parka.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
