I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
