am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I touched a dick in church today
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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