i just made my gag reflex go away.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
