I am in a vortex of obligation.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
