Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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