Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
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