Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
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