I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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