You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Randomize
