I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
