Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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