You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I have so many feelings about this burrito
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
