Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
