He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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