We need to start having sex underwater more often.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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