google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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