DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
did i walk over a car last night?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Let's get the cat blown out
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
