What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
