I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
