Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
