You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
