How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
i think i just lost a toe
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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