Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
