She said her name was "party"
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
