so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
