Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
