I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
