So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
