no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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