im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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