i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
